WHO AM I?

 

            I am just a normal girl who wish for everything. I wish that I am rich, I have a big house, I have a flawless skin, I can play music instruments, I can speak many languages, I can dance, I can sing, I am knowledgeable, have a stable income, own a house or maybe more, have my own café and many more wish I can’t list down because people will get tired to read. Maybe. The lists might seem like nothing, but none of the above that I owned or had it.

            I have to work hard for it. But it is not easy as all of it need money. They say money is God, but I don’t agree. Money can’t buy happiness, no, I don’t agree. But, darling, money is NEEEDED to bring happiness. And even anyone else couldn’t disagree. Why? Because if you want to have flawless skin, you need to buy skincare’s product. It uses money! House? Money! Music instruments? Money! Language classes? Money! Café? Money! Maybe you could say that you could use natural product for skincare, learn languages and gain knowledges from YouTube or Google or any other platforms. But, dear, there’s a limit for everything that is free! I knew because I had already tried it. It makes me frustrated because I had to stop in the middle as I couldn’t proceed without money.

            It doesn’t mean that I give up and stop right there. It just my motivation is down and my hope almost gone. I try to search for opportunity to learn everything that can be access freely as I am unemployed right now. Like learning mandarin language from apps or learning Japanese from YouTube and other things. YouTube and Google are such wonderful recourses to me as it helps me gain more information and knowledge. From these platforms, I learn how many tricks in life and how to gain side income while waiting for job opportunities.

            I always feel miserable inside when I saw my friends can afford to buy luxury things and treat their families something expensive. Someone could say that I am envious of other people life but I can’t deny it. Of course! Who don’t want to treat themselves things that they desire? And who don’t want to make their parents and siblings happy? But after all of this envy and jealousy, it didn’t make me choose the wrong path. Instead, I tried many ways to support myself and my family. I work hard and try to find the right platform for me to gain money instead begging other people for sympathy. I used my social accounts such as Twitter, Facebook and Instagram to make money. And I also learnt some new information while doing this, like how to make money as a freelancer. I could also do arts commission or sell my arts if I want. It’s just that I don’t have enough confidence to claim my drawing is eyes-catching. So, I still need some space to improve what I’m lacking right now. So that I can prepare and come out as a better person.

            There are so many things that I have, yet, to achieve in this life while having fun and create beautiful memories as life goes on. I try to archive little by little, one step at a moment, and hoping while doing that, my resolve is strong and firm. I don’t want to back down, because as the world evolve with new technologies and ideas, I also have to evolve with it.

            Last but not least, I am myself who always try to do things in my own way and on my own pace. Even though, sometimes, I get sway for a moment, I will always hold firm my resolve so that I can become successful on my own effort.